Monica

Have you watched Monica Lewinsky’s TED talk  yet?

All within a few days, I heard about the talk, read this article in the NY Times and, in the course of cleaning out my family home, found this old clipping, randomly, in the piano bench:

It’s Monica 1.0.  It came out during the time period she recalls during her TED talk when she was being publicly shamed not just on TV, Radio and in Newspapers, but on the brand-new, and rapidly expanding internet.  But the poem doesn’t feel particularly dated if we swap out he protagonist, and I’d say that’s one of Lewinsky’s main points in her talk: public shame is at a premium these days as a form of entertainment and we are all increasingly in the habit of passing judgement as casually as we might pass the time of day.

Worth a watch, I’d say, if you’ve got 20 minutes.  And if you do watch, let me know what you think in the comments.

“Dot” by Coleman Domingo

Last Tuesday morning I woke up early.  I took a walk to a car to a bus to the air-train to a plane to a transfer to another plane to a hotel van to get to Louisville where, on Tuesday night, I saw Coleman Domingo’s play “Dot” which is being presented as part of the Humana Festival at the Actors Theatre of Louisville.

Wednesday, I took a hotel van to a flight to an oh-my-god sprinting-through-the-airport transfer to another flight to an air-train to a car to a walk back to my apartment.

It was a quick trip.

I went because my friend Kevin is in the play and because I’d long heard of Humana but never been.  Initially, I tried to arrange a trip where I got to see some other plays and spend a little more time in Louisville, but . . . well, there’s a lot going on and it just didn’t work out.  No matter.  Next time.

“Dot” is wonderful.  The writing is wonderful and the performances do a bright and loving job of bringing the writing to life.

The play is about a family whose matriarch has dementia and has just begun to decline beyond what can be shrugged off as mere forgetfulness.  The patriarch has died and so the younger generation – three biological children, one spouse, one neighbor-the-family-has-known-forever, and one illegal caregiver hired off of Craig’s List – all with problems of their own, are faced with the dilemma of how to deal with the mother’s inevitable decline.  The writing is bravely and effectively honest about the anger and impatience family members feel when faced with a failing loved one, as well as perceptive in its portrayal of the matriarch’s take on and response to her situation.  The entire play is loaded with laughs which make it feel even more true to life, but which also keep the whole from veering too deeply into pathos and despair.

My own mother did not have dementia, but we did go through a lot with her over a period of about a year.  In the process, I had a window onto what it is to be aging in America (at least in my corner of America) which is not a pretty picture.

Coleman Domingo’s play is, I believe, an important contribution to the conversation on caring for our sick and elderly.  While you likely missed it at Humana (it closes April 12), it is my hope – and suspicion – that it will see many productions around the country in the coming years and I hope you’ll take the opportunity to see one.

You Say It’s Your Birthday (Part Two)

And so, having failed to lie to my son about his birthday for my convenience, we threw a birthday party.  A Lorax birthday party.  A birthday party that found me looking into the gaping maw of the beast called Toddler-Birthday-Party-In-The-Age-Of-Pinterest.

Look at this madness!

First, let me be clear: I did NOT want to throw a party.  However, as the youngest in his class, my son had already attended a number of his classmates’ parties and let us know in no uncertain terms that he saw a party as an important part of his birthday celebration.  Drat.  I set about trying to conceive a party that was as festive as possible while being as minimal as possible.  I was . . . semi-successful in those goals . . .

When I was growing up, I was only allowed to have a birthday party every other year.  On the in-between years, my parents took me, and sometimes a friend, to the theater in NYC.  It was a good system.  As I approached throwing my child’s first real birthday party (the all-adults first birthday party not really counting in my book), I tried to think of a similar sort of guiding principal and decided that perhaps the first several parties would all be tied to a favorite book.  So wholesome!

And so we arrived at The Lorax birthday party.

So, getting down to brass tacks, these were the elements of the party:

• Decorations
• A cake
• Activities/Entertainment
• Food/Snacks

Here we go.

Decorations.  Because the party had a Lorax theme, for decorations we scanned some key images from the book and then used the rasterbator to blow them up and print them out.  Then we used loops of blue painters tape on the back to stick them on the walls without damaging our home.

One of the pictures coming together . . .

The rasterbator is great and the pictures on the walls definitely seemed to be fun for the kids, but the whole process: scanning, rasterbating, printing, assembling and then cutting out was EPIC.  We spent – by far – the most time on this aspect of the party.  If I wanted to do this again, I’d either a) choose just one or two images and make them bigger so they could be more of a focal point OR b) start putting these together a month before instead of the week before.

The Cake.  This is where I wobbled.  Where everything almost came crashing down.  I think it is purely luck that the cake came out as well as it did, which is to say, a generous B-.  It was delicious but maybe the night before the party is not the best time to establish if your theoretial plan for creating truffula trees from mini cupcakes, straws and icing is in any way a functional plan.  It was, but barely.

I made a base cake which was just a white cake with cream cheese icing that I dyed green so it would look like grass.  Then I made a batch of these chocolate cupcakes, but I made them mini.  Then I made a bunch of swiss meringue buttercream because my Martha Stewart cupcake book indicated that this was the best frosting for the job.  Then I just hoped for the best.

I stored the truffula trees in the refrigerator ’till right before the party when i stuck them in the cake along with some chocolate Teddy Grahams which were, of course, frisking barbaloots.

As you can see: neither something to be especially proud of, nor a subject of personal shame.  THIS, friends, is how you know I’m NOT one of those crazy Pinterest moms.  (Those moms would never stand for this . . .).  Bonus: the kids really enjoyed eating the truffula trees (kinda like cake pops).

Activites/Entertainment.  We had three elements that lent themselves to “open play” and two parent-led elements.

For “open play” we made a Whisper-ma-phone out of some tubing and funnels from the hardware store.  It worked remarkably well – you really could just whisper in one end and hear at the other.  Kiddos were curious about it but had trouble coordinating one person talking and the other listening and switching.  My son really enjoyed playing with it in the days before the party and I suspect it will be one of those toys that we pull out every so often and really enjoy.

Because I stumbled onto the idea on some other mom’s blog (go ahead and google “lorax party mom blog.” I dare you.) and suddenly felt like what we had planned wasn’t “enough,” we also made a magnetic fishing game where you fish the poor Humming Fish out of the polluted water and into fresh water.  Fishing poles were a dowel with a string and some magnets on the end; fish were Humming Fish I printed onto orange card stock, cut out, and furnished with a paperclip to attract the magnet.  My husband fashioned dirty and clean water out of cardboard and blue paper (and I can’t believe I don’t have a picture of this!)  This one was slow to catch on, but I think most of the kids spent some time being pretty fascinated by it.

I also just printed out some coloring sheets from the internet (google something like “lorax printable coloring sheet”) which was so easy and such a good idea.

Once everyone had arrived and had played for a while, we all gathered together and read The Lorax and then we made seed necklaces which are cool to make and not too difficult for kids this age, especially with a bunch of parents around to help.

Because I failed to photograph OUR seed necklaces, here’s a picture of a similar one that I found on the internet! (Thanks, internet!)

Food/Snacks.  This was a total afterthought.  As I was anxiously mulling over the merits of brunchy food vs. lunchy food, my husband said “we could just do pizza like everyone else.” Eureka!  I married a genius!

I got a bag of clementines, some raspberries and strawberries, some apples which I sliced (and tossed with lemon juice), goldfish and those chocolate teddy grahams ans we were all set.  Everyone was happy with fruit, pizza and cake!

What are my takeaways?

• We did a good thing by limiting the number of kids.  We invited seven; five made it and the party felt big and full.  It was a perfect number for such young kiddos.
• I wish I’d started making the decorations earlier.
• I could have done less and the party would’ve been just as good, so I will aim to underachieve more next year.

Oh! And what did the kids take away in their goody bags?

• Tiny flower pots (so cheap at Michael’s)
• A cellophane bag of dirt for the flower pot. (I had the dirt; bags from Michael’s)
• A packet of seeds to plant. (Amazon)
• One of these tools (I bought sets and broke them up for the bags) (Amazon)
• Some Dr. Seuss stickers and erasers. (Michael’s)

Goodies!

Do you have a party-throwing philosophy?  Personal guidelines or rules-of-thumb?  Share them in the comments!

You Say It’s Your Birthday (Part One)

When a blog post concerns the birthday of a three-year-old, there should only be one part.  This was my first mistake.

Very early on the morning of my brother’s third birthday, I was awoken by a sound that went:

thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump (long pause) “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

This, of course was the sound of sleepy three-year-old Ian wandering out of his room and, disoriented, falling all the way down the front stairs of our house, breaking his leg.

What a terrible thing to have happen on your birthday!  Except he didn’t know it was his birthday and no one was going to tell him.  As far as he was concerned, his birthday was that upcoming weekend on the exact same day as his birthday party.  (If you’re wondering, the party went on as planned with my hobbling around in a full-leg cast.)

I remembered all of this as I was icing the first of the two birthday cakes I will have made by the end of the week because I wasn’t smart enough just to tell my kid that the day of his birthday party is his actual birthday.  So we celebrated his real birthday at school and at home yesterday and, on Saturday, we’ll do it all again.

So much cake.  Not to mention that the poor kiddo was, apparently, kind of confused and wanted to know last night where all the kids were?!  Sorry, peanut.

Next week, I’ll let you know how the party went and (what other wisdom I may have gleaned in the process of throwing it) . . .

Oven Bacon

Bacon

I didn’t invent this.  New York Magazine turned me on to cooking bacon in the oven way back in 2008.  I still have the page I ripped out of the issue to save so that I would never forget how to make the best bacon ever.

Pause: I’m not a bacon person.  I really don’t care a whole lot about bacon.  I’m married to a vegetarian.  But sometimes, I make some bacon.  For brunch guests.  For bacon and tomato sandwiches.  For my son (who really does love bacon).

Related: before this oven-cooking technique I was a regular failure at bacon cooking, constantly overcooking the bacon and, also, just finding the whole process unnecessarily messy and stressful.

Which brings us back to: cook your bacon in the oven!  New York Magazine just says to do it on a baking sheet but I would like to recommend my own twist: put the bacon on a rack on the baking sheet.  I find this lets the extra rubbery fat drip off leaving bacon crisp without having to over-cook it.  (I strongly prefer crispy bacon and I think the rack helps achieve that.  If you’re a fan of softer bacon, I’d just try it right in the baking sheet first.)

Bonus: I find I can cook the entire package of bacon in the oven and wrap up whatever we don’t eat in plastic wrap or a plastic zipper bag and then I just pop it into a very low oven (170 is the lowest my oven will go) to warm it up while I’m preparing whatever I want to serve with it.  Super convenient.  Still delish.

Extra Bonus: I find that cooking bacon this way lets you concentrate just on the eggs of french toast or pancakes you’re cooking ensuring a less-stressful kitchen experience and a better result overall.

You’re welcome!

I’m OBSESSED (slipper shoes?!)

I am OBSESSED with this product.  I’ve had it open in a tab of my browser for a full week.

Mahabis

They’re called mahabis and they’re slippers with soles that you can clip on to turn them into shoes that you can wear outdoors!!  It’s, like, the perfect thing for every apartment-dweller who’s trying to keep street dirt out of her home.  Also perfect for nerds like me who can’t get enough of transformer clothing (I once had a fully inside-out-reversible skirt from J. Crew. It was amazing. And never mind those knit dresses that you can wear a zillion ways . . .).  Plus, you get to pick your favorite base + sole color combo – they have blue and pink and yellow . . . how can you not want to collect them all?!

What do you think?  Would you buy these?

To be frank, the only reason I haven’t yet is the price tag.  I fell in love with these while I was looking at the price in euros (but without doing the conversion) and when I clicked over to US dollars I got sticker shock.  Still, they seem pretty great . . .

Comments! Leave comments! What would you do? What should I do?

Shoes!!

Go see . . .

This week I saw TWO great shows:

1. Big Love by Charles Mee at The Signature Theater.  I think Signature does an outstanding job, Charles Mee’s plays have always been some of my favorites, and this production is superlative.  This play manages to be serious and funny, deep and feel-good.  Tina Landau’s direction is mind-bogglingly good.

2. The Human Symphony created and directed by Dylan Marron.  This is the latest full-length/main-stage offering from The New York Neo-Futurists.  Clever, Engaging, informative and charming.  This show is a beautiful use and example of the Neo-Futurist aesthetic; it also manages to be truly experimental without evoking any of the negative connotations that the term “experimental theater” can sometimes conjure.  It only runs ’till February 14th so hurry up with this one!

It is worth mentioning that both plays have extremely affordable tickets and that they actually, as it happens, make a nice pair.  (Clicking the links above will take you to info and tickets for each show)

Leave a comment if you’ve seen one of them (or if you go) and tell us all what you think!

Required Viewing for White People

Are you white?  As per my personal action plan, I want to talk to you, white person, about issues of race and racism in our society in the hopes that we can all do a better job of being not-racist, even by accident (aka “racially biased.”)

I found this video really moving. [As usual, I can’t seem to embed video in WordPress. You can either click through the links to see the videos or click here to see a prettier version of this same blog post over on my website]

Take a look and then think about the discussion questions below:

1. How did this video make you feel?
2. What rules do you regularly follow to get home safely?
3. If you were stopped by the police, how do you think you would feel?  How successful would you be at remembering and following all ten of these rules?
4. To whom do you think the makers of this video are speaking?  How do you think the way the intended audience of this video sees and/or navigates the world might be different from you?  How might it be the same?
5. Why do you think the woman in the video starts to cry?
6. What questions do you have for the people who made this video?  How do you think you could find the answers to those questions on your own?

Here’s another video.  I saw this one back in mid-December and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

1. What do you notice about how this man does and/or doesn’t follow the Ten Rules for Getting Home Safely outlined in the first video?
2. How do you think this man feels while interacting with the police?  How can you tell?
3. How does the man change during the course of the video?  What do you think he’s thinking when he is first approached by the police?  What do you think he’s thinking at the end of the video?
4. I find the sound of his voice particularly haunting; what do you notice about his voice?  What do you think you’ll remember most from this video?

I’d love it if you wanted to post any or all of your answers in the comments or if you would share any other thoughts you have about or prompted by the video.

Resolved! 2015 Edition

Happy New Year!!

Even though we’re already a couple weeks in, the first blog post of the year feels like the perfect place to tackle the well-worn but somehow still compelling subject of resolutions!

I make resolutions all the time, but that doesn’t exempt me from making them at New Year’s as well.  This year I have three:

1. WATER.  I’ve made a version of this resolution every year but never with much success.  This year, instead of resolving to “drink more water” or even to “drink 8 glasses a day,” I’ve resolved to drink 4 glasses a day.  It’s half as much as the recommended daily allowance but it would still represent an increase for me on most days.  Also, when I tried to drink 8 glasses a day, I’d loose count, but 4 I can keep track of without really trying which makes the goal more concretely achievable.  And if I can form this habit, I’d love to add more glasses as the year progresses.

2. ROUTINE.  You know that Flaubert quote: “Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.”  2014 was a year characterized by disruptions.  This year, I want to stick to a schedule as much as possible so that I know, where I am, where my kid is, where my husband is, when he’s coming home, what time we’re all sitting down for dinner and when I’m free to leave the house to get something done or do something fun (and when I can be violent in my work!)  My husband’s work schedule (oh, and my own project) are already working against me in 2015 as far as hitting our marks every day, but that’s okay.  Like my water-drinking resolution, waking up and knowing what to aim for is more than half the battle, and it takes time to form new routines and habits.  Just knowing that this is a big priority for me right now clarifies so many decisions, it’s already paying off even while I keep trying to really succeed in achieving it.

3. LEAVE THE HOUSE – PERSONALLY AND PROFESSIONALLY.  When you have a kid, most people expect you to disappear, and when you have a hard time showing up for parties and dinners and events, people tend to chalk it up to the fact of your being a parent.  2014 might have been the year that I started to re-connect more regularly with my arts colleagues: attending more shows, participating more in others’ projects, just being out in the world . . . but events conspired against me.  Instead, 2014 found me spending a lot of time more-or-less alone.  I miss participating in the arts community, I miss my friends and it kinda bugs me when people blame my kid for something that’s not his fault.  This year, once I get a handle on the schedule (see above) I aim to start more-regularly scheduling outings of both the professional and social variety.

How about you?  What are your resolutions and how are they going?  Let us know in the comments!!

Good Riddance, 2014

This is my last blog post of the year!

I’m going on vacation after this week. I’m not going anywhere, I’m just going to take a break after a long, challenging and tiring year. I’m looking forward to working on this and maybe making some of these and actually reading the newspaper that comes every weekend and maybe a book.  Ambitious, I know.

As I mentioned rather recently, 2014 has not been especially good or kind to me but what really held me together and got me through (apart from my husband who is especially good and kind in general) was regularly putting focus on all of the good things in and about my life in spite of my difficulties: my husband (as mentioned), our kiddo, living in NYC, the privilege of pursuing artistic goals, cookies . . . you get the idea. So as I sign off ’till 2015, I want to do two things:

ONE – Shout out the good people

This year, just as the sh*t was hitting the fan, I started working with Roz Coleman. She has been an amazing coach and mentor as I continue to push forward with my goals as both an actor and a creator, and I’ve gotten so much out of working with her.  I can’t wait to dive back in in January.

The Signature Theater provided a season of outstanding productions.  I saw many (though not all) and was enriched by each and every one.

I also spent a lot of time around doctors and hospitals and I want to sing the praises of the John Theurer Cancer Center at Hackensack University Medical Center. The doctors and nurses I encountered there were excellent professionally and, in most cases, just lovely people. I kind of miss seeing them.

Finally, this fall/winter I had back surgery AND my brother broke his foot. We were both treated superlatively at the Hospital for Special Surgery.

Shout-outs, also, to the Bank Street Book Store, The Studio School, the Children’s Museum of Manhattan and the Children’s Museum of Art.  Trader Joe’s and AAA also had memorably upstanding moments this past year.

TWO – Remind us all to give.

There’s a lot going on in the world.  A lot of people are working really hard to make the world better.  The good news, is that you agree with a bunch of those hard-working people.  (You disagree with plenty of them too.)  I encourage you to  pick a cause you support or a group doing the work you wish you had the wherewithal to do yourself, and make a contribution. Even if it’s just a small amount, I find voting with one’s feet (where “feet” = dollars) both gratifying and fortifying.

I like the Musella Foundation, Newspapers In Education, The Southern Center for Human Rights, The New York Neo-Futurists, and Urban Pathways.  More generally, I like to support my favorite public radio station, local farms/healthy food programs, and often my alma mater gets a little something.  Lately, I’ve been thinking about who’s doing the work around race and racism that I want to support this year (leave a comment if you have suggestions).

My lists are by no means exhaustive, just a tip of the hat before I sign off for the year.  Who are your favorites from 2014?  Who did especially right by you in one way or another?  Let us know in the comments!

I hope you have a warm, healthy, safe and happy holiday season!  xo ee