Someone Open This Bar! Seriously!

April 21, 2015 § Leave a comment

drinking alone ecard

Okay.  Here’s my NEW BUSINESS IDEA:

A Bar.  With Snacks.

The Bar is called “Good Grief.”

You go there to sit and drink alone and maybe cry.  All the tables are for one.  It’s okay to talk to other solo bar patrons if you both feel good about that (like if you’re commiserating) but if they just want to drink and cry alone, you’ve gotta respect that.  Also, while there are no rules to specifically prohibit it, it would be really uncool to go there to pick someone up.

There are rules to keep people safe.  The bartender will only let you have, say, two or three drinks per hour to keep you from drinking too fast, leaving and getting hurt.  There’s probably an overall max number of drinks you can have too.  (We’ll have to look into the science and make some educated choices about the amount of alcohol we’ll let someone consume . . .)  The bar would also have taxis and/or cars for hire always on call so that sad, drunk patrons could get home safely.

The drinks are straightforward but EXCELLENT.  Always fresh lemon and lime juice, simple syrup, etc. – no margarita mix or sour mix or any of that mess.  The wine won’t give you a headache.

The snacks are similarly familiar but upscale.  A cheese plate. A good salad.  A couple of sandwiches.  Maybe one “real” entree on a rotating basis.  The food is tasty and doesn’t make you feel like you did something bad to your body by eating it, and it keeps you from feeling too hungry or drinking on an empty stomach.

The decor is dark.  Everything is black.  There is some attractive (though dim) lighting – perhaps some of those now-ubiquitous Edison lightbulbs? Maybe some great wallpaper behind the bar.  The tone is hushed.  The music is always very sad.  Kleenex everywhere (but maybe in custom-made holders so they blend in and look kinda cool.)

The world needs this.  Or, at least, New York City needs this.  Sometimes you need a place to drink and be sad and be by yourself.  And maybe (probably?) you’re less likely to overdo it and get sick if you’re at a bar where drinking alone and crying are the norm.

Are you a restauranteur looking for new business opportunities?  Let’s do this together!! (You probably think I’m kidding, but I’m not!)

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